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Interview #23: CU tomorrow. Breakfast 9 A.M. *

  • Barack H. Obama:

    Welcome to the family, folks! What's up, these days?

  • Keith B. Alexander:

    Who sampled that, dude?

  • Simon T. Hawm:

    Somebody told me Avenged Sevenfold's former drummer Rev – the posthumous death cab of little Maddie!

  • John O. Brennan:

    Who's around me, dudes?!

  • Michelle I. Williams:

    Keep calm, John! It's all just in your head!

  • Barack:

    Probably we've come together to introduce Adam & Eve of a brave new iWorld to our 7 billion iFolks rocking all over the world. So be welcome, SY & MY!

  • Simon:

    That must be a profiling mirror problem, Mr. President! This Michelle is mine – and I'm not faithful.

  • Barack:

    Ohh really?! (laughs)

  • John:

    No one in here is faithful. We all are hollow man – sons of a bitch as you would prefer it in your slang!

  • Michelle:

    In SY's slang?! That must be just another iPeer of him!

  • Keith:

    Seems like we are hacked by the FileZilla iTeam!

  • Barack:

    Hacked?! Not possible!

  • Simon:

    I would prefer the term iRadioheads or iMinds. By the way: Focus to your phonetics! The link of this inception leads us to France.

  • John:

    (lighting a cigarette)

  • Michelle:

    By the way: Term is a gap. It's your WISE booster, folks! I'd recommend to call Lou – to let him program it to our new, much more entertaining WhoSampled iPort for this fucking old and creepy killing WISE boosters. Aren't the CIA and NSA strong enough to create their own systems?!

  • Keith:

    We're just spokes in the wheel – operated by Kent P. Wayne's nexQtech iMatrix!

  • John:

    Who's Kent P. Wayne?!

  • Simon:

    Just another invention of my inventor Toby M. Winkler.

  • Barack:

    And who the hell is that?!

  • Michelle:

    Just another sexual spastic, who likes to kid the secret services. So don't worry, it's not FileZilla. It's just TY using it as just another port to entertain us!

  • Keith:

    Right then, off we go!

  • Simon:

    Who, the NASA?! I'd like to introduce my brand new plans for the SPINTROTTER / nexQtech iSpyderQ1. The iWorld's 1st satellite mind phone!

  • Barack:

    We know that already. It's just another pale imitation of Michael Knight's iWatch – and by the way just another construction of your iMind as Toby imagines it to be built!

  • Michelle:

    Ohh really?!

  • John:

    Where have you snatched this iVoice, Michelle?! It's Barack's Michelle's voice!

  • Simon:

    Ohh really?! I'd recommend to check this legal gap exactly. Call Jony in our iHeadquarter to solve that!

  • Barack:

    Gorgeous idea, SY! Who the fuck are you?!

  • Simon:

    Just another British knight in New York!

  • Keith:

    Your iMindgames are without any equal, SY!

  • Michelle:

    Who sampled?!

  • John:

    The equals?! (smiles)

  • Barack:

    So come on, putting butter on the fish: I love my label as it is. What do you want from me, SY?

  • Simon:

    I'm not taking the Mickey. Nothing. But nice to meet you anyway!

  • John:

    Somebody told me, that you think the CIA could help you to realise your iSpyder plans in order to build a brand new MEDIOPOLITAN iWorld in the name of progressive love, science, education, spiritualism, media & meta-capitalism. Who the hell do you think, that we are!

  • Simon:

    For me all of our departments are just another brick in Kent's nexQtech box – joining all the secret services and their connected industrial enterprises in one single box.

  • Michelle:

    Just to simplify it! (smiles)

  • Barack:

    Hope, we are the strongest part in this box! (smiles)

  • John:

    Probably!

  • Simon:

    Think so! Englishman – but with an American heartbeat!

  • Keith:

    Who sampled?!

  • Barack:

    Survivor?!

  • Michelle:

    Our eyes of a tiger will leave this space still alive.

  • Simon:

    Cheers, darling!

  • Barack:

    Why so serious?!

  • Simon:

    I'm just sampling ideas – inbetween I'm marking the points in your matrix, that have to be optimised! Tracking not possible – that's the job of my connected programmer Lou and my engineering iTeam around Jony. So don't worry! In the end just another booster kill in our iWorld's matrix, that will make all of us stronger. At the latest after all of us have slep on it for just another night.

  • Michelle:

    Put the rest into our iSpyder's iDreams boxes. Matilda's calling!

  • John:

    That's the way I like it, folks!

  • Barack:

    When he's right, he's right!

  • Simon:

    Everything's got both sides of a gun!

  • Barack:

    Who sampled?! (laughs)

  • Simon:

    Michelle?!

  • Michelle:

    Think it was Ben Harper.

  • Keith:

    Was?! He's still alive!

  • Barack:

    So long. Thanks for all the fish, dudes! CU tomorrow. Breakfast 9 A.M.

  • Michelle:

    You're welcome!

  • Simon:

    Cheers – and good night, ladies!

  • * Fictional Journalism

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